The one about the eye surgery...

So here are the details that I typed in yesterday but were deleted! Hopefully no such misfortune will occur again today!

The surgery was really only mildly unsettling. First, they re-examined my eyes. OK, actually, first, they gave me a valium which the odd receptionist referred to as a "blue bomber". I didn't feel that it actually affected me, but it did apparently affect my sense of balance! After looking at my eyes again, they explained the steps of the procedure. Then the doctor came in and explained it again. He also explained the parts that people "mess up". It doesn't mess up the surgery, but it was sortof an "I asked you to do one thing" scenario. In this case, I was supposed to look at the blinking orange light. I said I could handle that!

Then they took me in the room and I had to put on my hair net and lie down. The bed swivels between the two laser machines. The first machine was definitely the scarier one! I think because it was first, and also, there was a little more discomfort associated with it. The first thing they do is put in those "Clockwork Orange" eye-holder-openers. That actually was the most painful part until the doctor reminded me to stop trying to close my eye! But then they had to put on the suction cup thing. That was actually unpleasant, but not painful. A little bit of pressure, and the scary thing was that it made things go dark (because of the pressure). But they just told me to stare straight ahead and the first laser did it thing - it makes gas bubbles in the cornea. (Ew!) But the good news is that it only takes 20 seconds and the doctor counted down for me. I swear I could see little specks of white all over where it was making the bubbles, but maybe I was hallucinating. When they take you away from that machine though, you can't see because of all of the bubbles. But the doctor put a little patch over that eye and then did the other one.

So that was probably the scariest moment because for about 30 seconds I couldn't see anything! Which in a way, made the second laser less scary because I just wanted them to get it done. The "flipping of the flap" was the part I had been dreading the most, but it actually was quite soothing. Both because I think they did it with something moist which felt nice, and also because when they did it, the grey went away and my blurry vision was back. So then I could stare at the orange light and the corrective laser did its thing. This laser only took about 15 seconds. Then, they put the flap back. Again, it felt kindof nice. Sortof like an eyeball massage, but in a good way! (Of course my eyes were "numbed" for all of this.) And what was really cool was that when the flap was back in place I could tell that things were clear. I was only looking at the laser that was probably only 6 inches above me, but before, that would have been blurry!

So at that point, I was pretty sure that it had worked, and the second eye was no big deal. In fact, when I sat up, I could indeed read the clock on the wall! I could see pretty well, but everything was foggy (which is normal). It looked and felt like I had very very dirty contacts in.

So then my dad drove me home. My eyes definitely hurt at that point. But they really only hurt about the amount that they do when you're wearing contacts and there is something in them. And they felt really dry. They give you eye drops for pain, and also another "blue bomber" and a tylenol with codeine. So I took all of them and took the prescribed nap. When I woke up from the nap, things were no longer cloudy! And I could tell that I could see at least as well as I used to with my contacts! And they say that it takes about a week for your eyes to fully heal and your vision to stabilize.

But I am having no problems with reading or anything. I do just have to remember to blink more. But again, it really doesn't feel any different than having my contacts in. I also just need to remember not to rub my eyes. Hence the cool goggles! But they are only for sleeping. At first they were weird, but I'm getting used to them.

The strangest part of the whole procedure is that I can't actually believe that I'm not just wearing my contacts! I had a little ritual where I donated my old glasses and threw away all of my contact supplies, but it still seems surreal! Just, all of a sudden now, I have perfect vision! (Actually a little better than perfect! 20/15 for whatever that means).

So, I'm taking one more day to focus on blinking, putting in the correct eye drops, and not rubbing my eye, but I should be able to do work tomorrow no problem! Again, I really think it helps that I'm familiar with the feeling of having something stuck in my contact, because that's what it feels like. The first day was the worst. But then by the second day it was only mild discomfort, and usually because I had forgotten to put in eye drops. Now, it feels just as if I was wearing good contacts. In other words, I can feel something, but it's not really pain. So hopefully by next week it won't feel like anything!

All in all, I give the surgery 4.5 out of 5 stars. It only loses the half star because it's so expensive! BUT! At the same time it's totally worth it! (And it qualifies as an expense for your FSA.) Plus, I calculated the simple payback time is 8 yrs. Hopefully I will own my eyes for 8 more years!
~L
(p.s. bonus points to anyone who got the friends reference in the title. Which is fitting because the first time I ever saw friends was when I was waiting in a hospital in high school because I had had an accident building book shelves for JA and poked myself in my eye, shattering my contact, and it had to be removed by a doctor!)